Assumptions.
Do you make them?
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it has special meaning to me and many others (I lost my mother to cancer 28 years ago).
Our middle son Bennett’s flag football team decided to wear pink wristbands and shoelaces for the their last two flag football games. Bennett was so excited about wearing them. Lacing shoes is not one of his strengths so I told him I would help him. He wanted no part of that so the shoes remained unlaced for the evening. As it became later in the evening, he was frustrated and went to bed sad that he could not get them the way he wanted.
Our oldest son Preston was in his room studying while the shoelace debacle was happening. He usually stays up later than Bennett because of his work load and because he has trouble going to sleep. He is a night owl like his parents. After homework was done, he decided to make as much noise as possible in his room upstairs. Things were hitting the floor and who knows what was happening. With the fear of waking our youngest daughter up, my frustration level began to increase. I figured I would let it go and hope for some peace and quiet.
A few minutes later, I hear his loud footsteps walking down the upstairs hall and back to his room. Time to step in and see what was going on up there. As I walked up the steps, I assumed the worst and thought he was delaying the inevitable. He needed to go to bed and I was going to make sure he knew it. Did he realize that I was being inconvenienced by having to walk upstairs to remind him that it was a school night and he needed rest?
As I made my way to his room, I could see his light on and I was ready to catch him in the act of doing something unproductive so he could stay up longer. I had him right where I wanted him. I was ready to pounce on him with a solid lecture and dissertation on the need for sleep for a young man his age. As I looked into his room, I witnessed him lacing up his brother’s football cleats with his pink shoelaces. He wanted to make sure that his brother had it right. He did it without being asked. He did it because he wanted to “take initiative for the benefit of others.”
I watched him work for a couple of minutes without him knowing. He was meticulous. As tears streamed down my face, I realized I was not crying because of the act of kindness shown to his brother. I was crying over my assumptions. I was crying over assuming the worst and not giving him a chance. I was crying over the stench of my self-righteousness. Lesson learned.
There is no sin that our children will commit that we are not capable of doing or have already done ourselves. May we all parent with a humble awareness of our own sin.
Assumptions.
I make too many of them.
Great reminder. Thanks for posting this and for sharing this link.
Hope all is well with you and your crew. It is a great reminder to all of us. Sadly, I must admit that I fall into these often.